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WORDS: 4 Things I Am Learning

It has been SO long since I have sat down to write. I have missed it so much. This new season of life has been a little more rushed than I would like. Alan and I have been working on finding our rhythm. I will be 100% real with you. After a long day of teaching 4th graders and lesson planning, the last thing I want to do is write. My brain is usually overstimulated or totally fried, and all I want to do is relax and not have to think. 

Although I sometimes feel like I am running on a cup of cold coffee (because who am I kidding, the coffee get’s cold before I have time to drink it all), this new season of life has been a huge answer to prayers. The Lord has been really good to Alan and me. He has provided in ways we didn’t expect. And even though working with kids can be exhausting, man did I miss it. 

Anyways, enough of an “intro,” let’s skip to the good stuff. I have been learning so much in this new stage of life. As I was organizing all my thoughts to write, I realized that the majority of the nuggets that I have been learning have to do with our words. So grab a cup of coffee (hopefully it doesn’t get cold like mine does), and let’s get into it! 

  1. People’s words only have power over you IF you let them. Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. When I was younger, my mouth often got the best of me. I was VERY sassy, and I let everyone know what was on my mind from my parents to my poor Kindergarten teacher. To discipline me, my mom would make me sit down and write Proverbs 12:18 a good 25 times. “Careless words cut like a knife, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I guess it worked because I still have this verse memorized (not sure which translation because I was about 5 years old), and now I am someone who wants to speak life and bring healing with my tongue.  Sometimes people say careless things and it cuts deep. But no matter what is said, I encourage you to not let those words stir in your mind or heart. Let them roll off your shoulders, and you can even be the person to build them up and speak life into them.
  1. Maturity and wisdom are knowing when to remain silent and listen instead of speaking your piece. James 3:13-18 talks about divine wisdom.“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace (James 3:17-18, CSB).” I know that this verse is not just talking about the way that we speak. But as disciples of Christ, our words should be seasoned with grace, tear down dividing walls, and demonstrate mercy and gentleness. I have learned that there is a time to speak up, and also a time to bite our tongues and just listen. When others are not open or able to receive truth, it is wise to be quiet and not try to prove your point. Talking in circles is not practicing wisdom from above or being a cultivator of peace. So, if saying your part  doesn’t create unity, then what is the point? Let God be your Defender. 
  1. The words that come out of mouths reveal what is in our heart (Matthew 15:18). I want my heart to be full of grace, genuine love, and gratitude. I pray that my words reflect that.
  1. Talk to Jesus before you talk to others. I have noticed that if something happens, I tend to pick up my phone and call on some of my prayer warriors right away. The thing is: I do this before I have even talked to God about it myself. Obviously it is vital to have your prayer warriors on speed dial. But the thing that I have been feeling convicted of is that I rather go talk to them and spill all the deets or spiral into gossip over what happened instead of running to Jesus with everything first. The Father should always be the first on our speed dial. 

I have got to share with you that the Word of God seriously has helped guide me through some difficult situations. I think oftentimes people read the Bible because they know it is the right “Christian” thing to do (I have totally done this), but God’s Word truly is alive and active. I have been reading the Bible my whole life, and yet there is always something new jumping out at me. It is our guide to know how to walk the narrow path. During this new etapa as we say in Spanish (meaning period or season), I sure am glad that I have the Scriptures to go to. 

I pray that as Christ followers in a really dark world, that we cultivate peace, use our mouths to speak life, and that our words show others that Jesus is the King of our hearts. That is it for now, friends!

Nicey Nice

Have you ever felt guilty for telling someone, no? Or have you ever felt like you shouldn’t address an issue as it might offend someone although it is eating you alive? 

One thing that I have noticed is that in the Christian culture we have this false idea that we have to overextend ourselves to be kind, not offend anyone, bite our tongue if it may rub someone wrong, and so on.  We often forget that saying, no and having boundaries is actually healthy sometimes. Instead, we tend to place ourselves on the backburner as we feel we should always be serving and available to help even if we are struggling physically, emotionally, and spiritually (hello, I am raising my hand high out of guilt). 

I have really been working on finding my voice. Growing up, I was always a people pleaser. I didn’t know how to allow myself the space to recharge before agreeing to another service project, or how to express to someone that I didn’t appreciate the way they talked to me and made me feel less than. Some days I would want to hide under my covers to avoid any confrontation or any potential requests that I knew I wouldn’t be able to decline. 

Over the past few years, I have been learning how to find my voice. At first, it was me wanting to know how to speak up for myself and not feel like I was being walked all over for being so nicey nice and others knowing I couldn’t say no (where are my fellow people pleasers at?)

But during this year, I have found that it is not my voice I want to be heard. It is God’s voice through me that I want others to hear. I am His vessel. And this means that sometimes I may actually have to bite my tongue if I know my voice is going to create disharmony or tear others down. Other times it may mean that I may offend others because I stand for what God stands for and the world doesn’t like that. In finding my voice, I don’t want it to be about getting in my piece or letting people know exactly how I feel. But rather, I want my voice to bring unity, to speak truth in love, and also share the Gospel without hindrance. 

I have had a few uncomfortable conversations where I have stumbled around my words and found myself shaking out of nervousness. This is reality right? Sometimes we have to do it scared. 

I am learning that setting up boundaries or sabbath days doesn’t mean I love others less but rather that I am trying to refuel myself or guard my heart in order to love others better. I am also learning that sometimes people will be offended when we stand on God’s Word and against what the world says. 

I saw this relateable reel on Instagram the other day of this married couple. The wife was sitting down and stressing over what others may say about her. The husband was behind her saying, “stop caring what they think. Stop thinking they care.” 

I feel like this reel is all too accurate. Especially for Christian women. We are constantly overthinking our words or actions and how they will be perceived by others. Even when some may not think twice about what we have to say. We want to play nice and never upset anyone. 

But this is not how Christ lived. Jesus said the hard things. He spoke truth in love. He addressed sins, casted out demons, and called people higher. He even offended people along the way.

You see, we can love and serve and still set up our own boundaries. We can disagree with people and have those hard conversations but still love that person dearly. We don’t have to choose one or the other. We don’t have to strive to be a nicey nice person on the outside while we are screaming for a break on the inside. We also do not have to tiptoe around Scripture in order to appease others. We can knock down this false idea that being a Christian means we have to play nice with everyone as we aim to please Jesus more than the world and ask for the Spirit to give us words when we can’t find them.

BUILDING CHARACTER

I have heard it said that when we walk through suffering or hard seasons, we shouldn’t ask the Lord to take us out of the hard but rather to show us what He wants to teach us through it. 

A few weeks ago, I was washing dishes and grumbling under my breath about a few frustrating things that had played out over the day. I looked up to the skies from my kitchen window and with a loud sigh I said, “Okay Lord, can you just teach us whatever we are supposed to learn so we can move on from all this hard already?”

 I look back now on this little conversation I was having with God, and I laugh. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work that way. Also, I have such a stubborn personality that I am sure the Holy Spirit will keep having to teach me the same thing for the next few years as well. 

The other day I found myself right back in the same place.I felt a hint of anger rising within me as I have been feeling so worn from the constant fight. I looked down at the broom in my hand and instantly thought, “Man, I think God is building my character.” 

Here is what I have noticed, we try to avoid pain at any cost. When something gets hard, we would rather whip out a remote and hit the fast forward button to skip to the next part. Very rarely do we look at our situation and say, “Okay, what is it that I can learn from this? How can God sharpen me through this time?”

As we are often so eager to jump from the hard to the good, we fail to realize that it is in the hard that He prepares us for the good. It is in those rough and trying seasons where God  molds us and shapes our hearts to be able to receive what He has in store for us.

If there is one thing that I have learned during these past three years, it is that hard times produce perseverance, grit, and take you into a more intimate relationship with Jesus. Friends, we have so much that we can learn in the pressing times. 

If you are walking through a difficult season and you feel beaten down and are asking the Lord what is the purpose of this time, I want to encourage you that  God can use this time to…

Build you character

Brew new passions in you 

Lead you into a more intimate relationship with the Father

Prepare you for what is ahead. Whether that means you will minister to others who walk through similar situations as you or that He is stretching you now to know how to handle things to come 

Teach you that your dependence is on Him alone

Show you that true joy comes from the Savior, not from things of this world

Sharpen you to be more fierce and courageous for Him

Contrary to popular opinion, hard times aren’t a curse and they don’t come because we have bad luck. In fact, these exact times that we want to wish away can actually be blessings. These pressing times or hard situations that we want to fast forward through are the exact times that the Lord uses to mold us more into His likeness and equip us to minister to others. So keep persevering, friend. He is building our characters.