I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed about something heavy on my heart, and then not even 24 hours later I start worrying about that same thing again.
It is just a normal human struggle. We pray and say that we trust the Lord, and yet we also crave to be in control and know how things will play out.
It has been such a whirlwind for my husband and I since fall last year. After years of waiting and working hard to obtain my husband’s U.S. visa, the U.S. embassy denied him the visa without even giving him 5 minutes. It was something we had worked so hard for, and we had prayed over sooo much. After being married for 3 years, doing everything lawyers and governments recommend and require just for us to be together, we were denied the chance to travel together. It just didn’t make sense. It was a big blow to say the least.
Less than a month later we found out we were pregnant. But then we got hit with the news of me having a hematoma and being at high risk of miscarriage. I was convinced I was losing our baby. But I pleaded with the Lord for our baby’s little life and to dry up the hematoma. Once I recovered and all of my sonograms came back hematoma free, we had a death in the family.
Oh, we had really cried out to God for this family member, begging the Lord to bring complete restoration and do what seemed impossible. We prayed that He would move in such a mighty way and use it to bring salvation to family members who do not know Him. We had different churches and prayer warriors fighting on their knees with us too. Then, the family member suddenly passed away. We were so sure that God was going to touch his body and bring healing.
Then we got smacked with some financial blows soon after. It has been such a crazy, almost heavy season for us where we have done nothing but run to the Lord in prayer and ask him to move on our behalf and our loved ones’ behalfs. And yet, God hasn’t always answered in the way we would have hoped.
Life is full of celebrations and struggles. How we respond to the trials matters. We can choose to fall into the victim or negative mentality, or we can tackle trials with a positive attitude knowing that Christ always brings us to the other side.
My husband and I have played victim more times than I would like to admit. It is quite honestly embarrassing. In this new season of life, even with all of its hardships, I am choosing to stay positive. My new motto is, “I have already prayed about it, so I am not going to stress.”
I am retraining my mind to not dwell on things that are out of my control, but place them in the hands of the One who holds all the control.
Now, with this I have come to recognize that the Lord may not always answer my prayers in the way that I would hope or expect. BUT–here is the big but– I find a sense of peace knowing that He is sovereign and He will work each thing out for the good of those who love Him. I can trust Him. He is a good Father, even if He tells me no.
I know that there are a lot of BIG changes ahead for our growing family. Some of these changes will come with new responsibilities and bumps in the road. But I will not fear because I have already prayed–and will continue to pray for our family each step of the way. I will rest in the Lord and know that He is working tirelessly behind the scenes for us. He is a good Father, worthy of all of our trust. We can release full control to Him.
Journey to Dominican 